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Blog Paper: Quilted Velvet Naturally!

Posted by Tony Smith on 15 Apr 2009 at 11:40 AM

I have long held the view that a great deal can be told about people and organisations by examining their lavatorial arrangements. This is not a view I have arrived at hastily or without a great deal of research!

For example, the lavatories at my secondary school were totally in keeping with my overall experience of the establishment. However, on a recent trip in search of Cordylines, I found myself at the other end of the scale. I had never visited Europlants before so had no idea what to expect. On arrival I naturally made for the loo. A few minutes later I emerged enlightened. They would have the plants I wanted, in good condition and the staff would be both polite and helpful. They did and they were.

So, having proved the link between quality toilets and quality people and organisations, I propose a national assessment and awards scheme for public loos based on the RHS medal system. This could transform not only the nation’s lavatories but the whole fabric of society. Britain could be a cleaner, politer, happier and more efficient place to live and work.

Well, that’s my manifesto for the next election sorted. I suppose I had better get on with the day job and start polishing my Cordylines ready for Chelsea!

A word of warning to those proprietors of lavatories who would aspire to a gold medal. You won’t get one if you use the wrong brand of toilet tissue. Sorry, Europlants is a silver gilt.

So long and thanks for all the Cordylines.

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