Sometimes, the materials people choose seem a little, well... inadequate.  The first little pig's selection of straw comes to mind, as do those paper pants they seem so fond of in hospitals (they rustle for heaven's sake - that's wrong on every level)

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For the entire summer of 1990 all I ate was toasted cheese sandwiches.  I tell you this, not as part of my audition for Freaky Eaters (a classic BBC3 offering that makes me seriously question how the licence fee is spent) but as an indication of quite how dull my eating habits can be.

Not only is this slightly embarrassing, but I have worried for a while that I may be passing on my bad habits.  Thankfully, a long-run war of attrition has meant that my elder two children are getting slightly better at trying new tastes. Archie, however... that's a different matter. 

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I find technology somewhat frustrating.  I'm no technophobe, in fact quite the opposite, it's just that it all seems to come along a little too late in my book

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We hold these truths to be self evident; if you carry an umbrella, it will not rain, if a clean nappy and wipes are in your handbag, none will be required, and apparently, if you try to make ice mobiles, the weather will suddenly warm up

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I have a horrible feeling that I'm becoming more than a little Linda Snell* these days. Unlike this Archers' character I have not started to council teenage village tearaways, nor have I acquired any Llamas, but I am quite annoying and seem to have developed a dangerous habit of joining every committee and local cause going.

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I wouldn't make a very good estate agent.  It's not that I don't know the lingo.  After half a dozen series of Location, Location, Location and Property Ladder, I reckon I've got that covered.  However, there's no escaping the fact I have a slightly strange way of assessing properties

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